I connect with a lot of what you say here Serra. I HATE small talk. When I get my hair cut I like to close my eyes and feel the comb through my hair and sit in silence. That’s the best kind. I hate when they make me talk about my job because I don’t want to think about work. I just want them to play with my hair and be quiet! Also, feeling love and passion and listening in every moment, even at work is a constant practice I struggle with. Tara Brach podcasts have helped me with this practice. One strategy is to feel the pleasant feelings and appreciations for at least 7 seconds. Love you! ❤️
(1) VR is absolutely a trap for the mind, and id put myself as a 7/10 on the technophile scale (but sliding down… at one point in my artistic development I looked for every excuse to add a computer/projector/interactive component to an artwork, now I’m far more hesitant). Don’t tell the friend I play VR golf with…
(2) on having a quieter haircut, as someone who’s sat in your chair… I’m very OK with this. I always enjoy our catch ups, but i also like the sitting and just receiving the haircut. For me the experience is meditative, it’s a type of body work, it allows me to focus on the sensation. I’ll likely forget I wrote this when I come in and open with a flurry of words… but speaking for myself I would absolutely respect your need to just focus (or rest your chatter brain) while you work. I’ll try to remember to bring a chiller energy.
(3) even worse than the ghost journal I have the ghost instagram account. Drafting posts that I would love to get out but I find the whole effort of posting them following up on responses overwhelming.
(4) I also know what it’s like to be jealous of the person who devotes their whole life and career to art. But, I’ve become less jealous of that, because I’ve realized that for me, the consequence of that choice could be a sense of isolation inside the work, inside the art. Like I worry… if I became a full time [actor or director, or I guess now id say ceramicist], then I slowly lose a connection to the parts of life that people respond to in their art. I tend to monofocus on things, and ignore other inputs, and so I think what works for me now is to structure my life so that I’m 30-50% art, the rest “life”. As I write this, I’m casting doubt on my own paradigm here. Isn’t the process of creating art… life experience too? Can’t you still do things and explore the world once you go full time artist? Of course you can… well, perhaps I’m just rationalizing the choice ive made to go that route.
(4a) reading your Substack, and knowing you, I would say you are living more of an artistic life than most people I know. The collage counts, the Substack counts, the way you pass down the creative process to Mina, and so much more… all that to me reads as a strenuous flexing of the creative muscle. But if it’s about making a living primarily through the work… or about doing it on a full time schedule… I get that there’s a gap. I guess I’m just saying I’m jealous of YOU for how tightly you integrate art-making into your day to day. Grass be greener, I guess.
Wow, thank you for your thoughtful and multi- faceted response! I really appreciate it. Interesting thoughts on mono focus and art isolation, it’s true that there needs to be a balance of living and interacting, then reflection and expression of those experiences. I guess I feel like I’ve never felt balanced enough, never able to fully sink in to the reflection part.
I think partially the reason that conversation is feeling hard for me is that my job IS my social life, more or less- and when I’m cutting hair I’m never fully focused on the conversation, and rarely making eye contact with the client, so there’s this odd disconnect that makes me feel scattered, like I’m not fully present in the conversation. And often, (not with you but many others) the conversation feels like a forced obligation and I hear myself saying things without feeling like I’m really there behind what I’m saying. As a person who strives to always be authentic, it can feel uncomfortable.
OMG - my recurring nightmare is having to poop or pee and only having some disgusting or very public place to go. The funniest one was when the only toilet was at the top of a lifeguard tower in the middle of a crowded beach. Funny in retrospect. In my dream it was horrifying. Another time I had to poop in the middle of Proper Eats resaurant. When I wrote about it in my journal the next day, I didn’t have to look far to see the symbolism. (I had been eating and drinking quite poorly for a stretch.)
Well - I’m happy we chatted when you cut my hair, because here I am - but yes - I can understand the struggle of that tension. I certainly am relieved often times when there is no chit chat in the chair.
I connect with a lot of what you say here Serra. I HATE small talk. When I get my hair cut I like to close my eyes and feel the comb through my hair and sit in silence. That’s the best kind. I hate when they make me talk about my job because I don’t want to think about work. I just want them to play with my hair and be quiet! Also, feeling love and passion and listening in every moment, even at work is a constant practice I struggle with. Tara Brach podcasts have helped me with this practice. One strategy is to feel the pleasant feelings and appreciations for at least 7 seconds. Love you! ❤️
(1) VR is absolutely a trap for the mind, and id put myself as a 7/10 on the technophile scale (but sliding down… at one point in my artistic development I looked for every excuse to add a computer/projector/interactive component to an artwork, now I’m far more hesitant). Don’t tell the friend I play VR golf with…
(2) on having a quieter haircut, as someone who’s sat in your chair… I’m very OK with this. I always enjoy our catch ups, but i also like the sitting and just receiving the haircut. For me the experience is meditative, it’s a type of body work, it allows me to focus on the sensation. I’ll likely forget I wrote this when I come in and open with a flurry of words… but speaking for myself I would absolutely respect your need to just focus (or rest your chatter brain) while you work. I’ll try to remember to bring a chiller energy.
(3) even worse than the ghost journal I have the ghost instagram account. Drafting posts that I would love to get out but I find the whole effort of posting them following up on responses overwhelming.
(4) I also know what it’s like to be jealous of the person who devotes their whole life and career to art. But, I’ve become less jealous of that, because I’ve realized that for me, the consequence of that choice could be a sense of isolation inside the work, inside the art. Like I worry… if I became a full time [actor or director, or I guess now id say ceramicist], then I slowly lose a connection to the parts of life that people respond to in their art. I tend to monofocus on things, and ignore other inputs, and so I think what works for me now is to structure my life so that I’m 30-50% art, the rest “life”. As I write this, I’m casting doubt on my own paradigm here. Isn’t the process of creating art… life experience too? Can’t you still do things and explore the world once you go full time artist? Of course you can… well, perhaps I’m just rationalizing the choice ive made to go that route.
(4a) reading your Substack, and knowing you, I would say you are living more of an artistic life than most people I know. The collage counts, the Substack counts, the way you pass down the creative process to Mina, and so much more… all that to me reads as a strenuous flexing of the creative muscle. But if it’s about making a living primarily through the work… or about doing it on a full time schedule… I get that there’s a gap. I guess I’m just saying I’m jealous of YOU for how tightly you integrate art-making into your day to day. Grass be greener, I guess.
<3
Wow, thank you for your thoughtful and multi- faceted response! I really appreciate it. Interesting thoughts on mono focus and art isolation, it’s true that there needs to be a balance of living and interacting, then reflection and expression of those experiences. I guess I feel like I’ve never felt balanced enough, never able to fully sink in to the reflection part.
I think partially the reason that conversation is feeling hard for me is that my job IS my social life, more or less- and when I’m cutting hair I’m never fully focused on the conversation, and rarely making eye contact with the client, so there’s this odd disconnect that makes me feel scattered, like I’m not fully present in the conversation. And often, (not with you but many others) the conversation feels like a forced obligation and I hear myself saying things without feeling like I’m really there behind what I’m saying. As a person who strives to always be authentic, it can feel uncomfortable.
Also those are the prettiest slugs
OMG - my recurring nightmare is having to poop or pee and only having some disgusting or very public place to go. The funniest one was when the only toilet was at the top of a lifeguard tower in the middle of a crowded beach. Funny in retrospect. In my dream it was horrifying. Another time I had to poop in the middle of Proper Eats resaurant. When I wrote about it in my journal the next day, I didn’t have to look far to see the symbolism. (I had been eating and drinking quite poorly for a stretch.)
Well - I’m happy we chatted when you cut my hair, because here I am - but yes - I can understand the struggle of that tension. I certainly am relieved often times when there is no chit chat in the chair.
I am happy we chatted too! Honestly I love chatting. Some days it just feels like too much.
Thanks for sharing your bathroom nightmares with me!