Wrapping up

And moving on

It’s not exactly an ideal time to do a Substack post, as it is the middle of my workday, but it’s a very slow day so might as well. Had one regular this morning, then a new client who was a no show- actually it was the second time he stood me up but since I don’t have his payment info I couldn’t charge him the no show fee. Then a beard trim later at 3:30. Last weekend I was fully booked because of Christmas, and I figured it would slow down after that, so I’m not too surprised.

I’m at Fleur de Lis, a nice coffee shop in the neighborhood. It used to be the library before the library moved to another building, so it’s spacious and has lots of windows. They have great baked goods and breakfast sandwiches. There’s an older man playing classical guitar in the corner. The place is about half full, mostly retired folks and a couple of families with small children. I ordered a jasmine tea and avocado toast with a fried egg, which just arrived.

It’s a relaxing environment but I feel wound tight today. I probably just haven’t had much decompression time with busy work days, preparing for Christmas, doing Christmas, and trying to fit alone time in here and there where I can. Our house is trashed and I’m hoping Benny and Mina put in some time cleaning the house today while I’m gone, because we’re leaving for San Diego tomorrow to visit my family for a few days. We’re looking forward to the trip, and I feel like I’ll be able to relax while we’re there. My family is fun and easy to be around, and we’ll be staying at an Air Bnb so we’ll have our own space to chill when we need it.

I’m mainly here to do my year end highlights post. At the beginning of this year, when Benny had joined a neighborhood band and I was making plans to go on a week long artist retreat, I wondered, “Is this the year we make all our dreams come true??!” In many ways it was. For me, the big change was leaving Rudy’s and becoming self employed at Demeanor Hair Studio- a terrifying but necessary endeavor. And after four months I can confidently say that it was a good decision and I made the right choice. Although the band didn’t work out, Benny learned how to make sourdough bread, which was a big dream for him. Mina started middle school and is fully inhabiting their tweendom.

Here’s a photo roundup of some of the year’s highlights:

Mom’s visit in January and solving an escape room together

The week long artists retreat with comix nerds at the Sou’wester

Mina’s 11th birthday party

My Grandma’s Memorial in Springville

Watching Mina perform in Beauty and Beast with their drama club

Getting in the river

The move to Demeanor

Mina’s first day of middle school

My dad’s visit when we went to the 3-D re-release of Paranorman at OMSI, and went to some amazing live music shows

And Christmas

What your thoughts about New Year’s? I know that Austin Kleon doesn’t start any New Year’s resolutions until February and treats January as a kind of recovery month when you shouldn’t pressure yourself into any self improvement. I love January, it feels like a blank page to me. A long sweet sigh. I do agree that it makes more sense for New Year’s to be in spring, when things are waking up and coming back to life. Regardless, I love the fresh start feel of the new year and I love setting intentions and making plans. The older I get, the more I realize that if you don’t plan for things, they don’t happen. Making plans and following through with them feels a bit like sorcery, like willing something into being. For 2026 I have a few thoughts, though I’ll be adding to the list over the next week or two.

1. I think this might be the year that I form or join a band. I’m picturing a kind of rowdy, rough, punk rock tinged honky tonk band or something like Big Thief which has a nice blend of tender folk and raw vocals and noisy guitar solos. I already thought of a name for the country band: Sassafras.

2. I want to get more analog however I can. Listen to records, read books, send snail mail, peruse magazines and newspapers, take long phone breaks. I use social media a lot for my job so I can’t swear it off completely, but be more intentional about how and when and for how long I use it.

3. Be more community minded. Have people over for collage making hangouts, go on hikes with friends, check in with neighbors, say yes to social events that feel meaningful and fun. Call friends who don’t live here. Plan little excursions out of the city and invite people I’d like to know better.

4. Make a list of places I want to go and things I want to do in Portland and nearby, or even not nearby. Focus on having new experiences.

5. Keep going to the gym and the dance class, make physical health a priority.

6. Find a way to do couples counseling with Benny.

7. Don’t buy stuff through Amazon and don’t buy any new clothes, even if they are thrifted. I have enough clothes.

8. Keep writing, write often, write with prompts. Find a writing community.

9. Try meditation.